


Love Is Hard

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, emotions are confusing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-22 13:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3730330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gadreel develops feelings for you, he tries to figure out how best to proceed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> Written in reply to the request:
> 
> [...] on the topic of Gadreel I know I'd love to see you tackle some of my favorite tropes. You know the classics. Gadreel is in love and decides to 'woo' reader. He does research into this subject. Maybe involves Hannah and Cas. It's bound to get hilarious and possibly sexy. [...]
> 
> I don't know how hilarious this is going to get, we'll have to see about that. And I can't stand Hannah, never could, so I'll leave her out. Hope that's okay.

~~~HIM~~~

“Brother.”  
Castiel looked up from the book he held. He found Gadreel standing in the doorway, seeming quite nervous.  
“Yes?”  
“I believe I am in need of your assistance.”  
He put the book down and directed his full attention towards his brother. Similar to what had happened to himself two out of three times, Gadreel had been revived after sacrificing himself up in heaven, enabling the others to defeat Metatron. It had taken Castiel a lot of effort to persuade Sam – and, after his brief time as a demon, Dean – to let Gadreel stay in the bunker with them for the time being. F/N, their fellow hunter and friend, on the other hand, had been quite open about the idea. She’d actually helped him talk the brothers into it. He supposed it had been because she had neither been possessed by him, nor had to watch him kill Kevin.  
“In what matter?” Castiel asked with a raised eyebrow, gesturing towards the chair across from him, on the other side of the table.  
Gadreel sighed and took a seat.  
“You have been among humans much longer than I have.”  
Castiel nodded.  
“You know their ways.”  
“Hardly. Humans are… complicated.”  
“Yes…” Gadreel smiled wearily. “I did notice that.”  
“Gadreel, what is it you want my assistance with?”  
“F/N.”  
“What about her?”  
“I think I… I may have fallen in love with her.” he admitted, a little reluctant.  
Castiel’s eyes widened significantly.  
“How do you know?” he asked.  
For all the time he had been on earth, falling in love was something he had not yet experienced. He had been attracted to Meg, physically, but emotionally, that had been more like… an odd sort of friendship. Even everything else aside, she had been a demon, so there really could not have been any sort of comparison between them and Gadreel and F/N.  
“I’m not entirely sure… When she enters a room, my heart beats faster. It is difficult for me to focus on what I am doing when she is near. And I greatly admire her strength in dealing with the troubles in her life. Dean’s being a demon, his remission, the constant threat of a relapse. She never looses heart.”  
“That is true. But… why do you come to me with this… matter? I’m not human – anymore.”  
“But you are the closest thing to a friend I have. And I hoped that maybe there is something within the knowledge Metatron gave you that might be of value.”  
“I don’t know…” Castiel sighed. All those books, films… stories… They are full of grand gestures, but one thing I have learned is that this is, in reality, often too much, and hardly practicable. Difficult to appreciate. There are some stories he gave me where the opposite is done and honored just as much, if not more. Small things. Acts of kindness. Often even performed in secret. It is very-“  
“It’s confusing, Castiel.” Gadreel grumbled.  
Castiel nodded sympathetically.  
“That seems to be a quality all kinds of emotions have in common. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. It might be a good idea to speak to her directly. Have you tried that yet?”  
“I can’t. Not before I know more about all this.” Gadreel dismissed the suggestion.  
“Then speak to somebody else. Somebody who knows her well. Somebody human. Maybe Dean. Or Sam.”  
“You think they would help me? After all I did to them?”  
Cas smiled woefully.  
“I hope so. They’re good people. As is F/N.”  
“I know she is. Which is why I am afraid.”  
“What of?”  
“How can I even begin to hope she would ever consider me? I’ve done horrible things to her friend.” Gadreel said sadly, casting his eyes to the ground.  
“Well,… if there is anything amongst all the stories Metatron gave me that appears to be true, it is that love can overcome a lot of things, a lot of mistakes. If she has feelings for you, she might be able to overlook what you did. And you should not forget that she took your side and argued for you to stay in the bunker against Sam and Dean.”  
“She did.” Gadreel nodded, thoughtful. “Thank you, Castiel.”  
“It is no matter. Consider what I said. Speak to her, if you can. Or to others who know her well.”  
“I will think about it.” he conceded.  
He rose from the chair, nodded his goodbye and then turned to leave.

 

~~~HER~~~

Gadreel was behaving oddly recently. Well, more so than usual. Being an angel and all that, he had had his quirks and oddities from the start. But now, it was different. Sometimes, he even flinched at the sound of my voice when he had failed to notice my entering a room. When I had supported Cas’ request to let Gadreel stay with us, I had hoped we could become friends, in time. I knew what he had done, of course, to Sam, and Kevin, but somehow… I tried to see past that. See him as the person he was now, not the one his imprisonment and Metatron had made him. Also, I was incredibly grateful to him. No matter the other circumstances, he had possessed Sam in order to save his life, which he had succeeded in. Something the brothers tended to purposely forget.  
I really wanted to be his friend. Maybe something more. When I looked at him, I could see how his past haunted him. We all had our regrets, some more than others, and I could relate to his feelings in that regard. His nature spoke to me as well. While I was more of a bubbly person, his serious demeanor was certainly still… kind of a turn-on, to be honest. As was his physical appearance.  
We knew from Cas, of course, that a human soul could only endure so much that was done to its body while possessed, so we had not been too surprised that the guy whose body Gadreel was possessing was gone. Not after his misadventures in heaven. What we had no explanation for, none of us, was how he had suddenly just shown up, alive and well. He’d definitely killed himself. Cas and Hannah had been absolutely positive about that.  
In any case, I was happy he’d joined our little gang, and sad that he seemed to withdraw into himself, at least when I was around.  
“What’s on your mind, F/N?” Dean asked, causing me to look up from the book I was supposed to be reading.  
“Nothing specific. Why’re you asking?”  
“Because you haven’t turned a page in an hour, and your eyes were all glassy. What’s his name?”  
“I- what?”  
“People tend to get that sort of look when they think about a special someone. Who is it? Hunter? Local?” he questioned.  
“Don’t be ridiculous. I was thinking about a chicken fillet cheeseburger and onion rings.” I lied smoothly.  
I really did not need Dean to know I fancied Gadreel. Who just so happened to enter the room at that very moment. Dean grinned at my words.  
“Nice. Shall I consider that your order? I was about to go get some food.” he said.  
“Sure.” I nodded.  
Dean turned to the angel.  
“You want something too, feathers?” he asked.  
Gadreel usually ate with us, even though he did not need the sustenance. He had figured out that mealtimes were a rather social event, and it was interesting to watch him grow fond of human food. He had a soft spot for pancakes.  
“I will be happy with whatever you decide to bring, Dean.” he replied and sat in the chair next to mine.  
Dean nodded and left the library to find Sam. I turned to look at Gadreel.  
“So, what have you been up to today?” I asked with a smile.  
“Not much.” was his simple reply.  
A little too simple for my tastes.  
“You got something on your mind?”  
“No. I had a conversation with Castiel, but otherwise, I did just wander around aimlessly.” he answered.  
I still had the nagging feeling he was hiding something, but I decided not to push it.  
“Isn’t that boring as hell?”  
“I doubt that hell is particularly boring for anyone.” he said, looking confused.  
I smiled.  
“I guess not, but it’s just a figure of speech anyway.”  
“Oh. I see.”  
We fell silent for a little while after that. Gadreel was gazing around the room while I tried to focus on my book again. Needless to say, I failed miserably.  
“Gadreel?” I began hesitantly.  
“Yes?”  
“Why have you been so quiet recently? More than before?”  
If I could not concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing, I might as well try to figure out what was going on.  
“I was not aware that I have.” he said, looking away.  
“But I am aware of it. Is anything wrong? Did one of the guys say something that upset you? Did I?”  
“No, F/N. You need not worry. Everything is well. I have just been thinking about… something difficult.” he skillfully avoided telling the whole truth.  
“Maybe I can help you? I would like you to feel comfortable around us.” I kept the ‘Me in particular.’ to myself. “Just say the words if you need anything.”  
“Really, it is no matter you need to concern yourself with.” he assured me.  
I sighed heavily.  
“Fine. But if you want to talk about it, or about anything, you’ll know where to find me, right?”  
He smiled softly, and my heart beat a little faster.  
“I will. You are very kind. Thank you.”


	2. Moose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam takes his turn in assisting Gadreel, albeit reluctantly.

~~~HIM~~~

“Cas told me you could use my help with something.” Sam announced, standing in Gadreel’s room.  
He hadn’t wanted to offer his help, but when Cas had asked him to, he had hinted that it would make F/N happy. While Sam was not in love with F/N or anything, not by a long shot, he did take any opportunity to see that wide, beautiful, bright smile of hers. Smiles like that were sort of rare in the hunting world, and he wanted to keep hers alive.  
If him helping Gadreel, whose company F/N seemed to enjoy, with whatever his problem was would make her smile, then so be it.  
Gadreel looked at Sam, surprised by his words.  
“Did he mention the nature of my… request?” he asked.  
“No.”  
He sighed. Part of him had hoped that, since Castiel had bothered to notify Sam in the first place, he might have told him the reason as well. Then again, maybe it was for the best that he hadn’t.  
“I… I would indeed like your advice on something. A rather delicate matter, one might say.” Gadreel admitted.  
“You’ll have to be more specific than that.”  
“There is a person I want to… improve my acquaintance with.”  
Sam raised a questioning eyebrow.  
“A person?”  
“A woman.”  
The younger Winchester stayed silent, waiting for more.  
“F/N.” Gadreel elaborated.  
Well, that was unexpected.  
“You… you have a crush on F/N?” Sam gulped.  
“What exactly are you referring to with ‘crush’?” the angel asked, slightly confused.  
“You have feelings for her? Romantic feelings?” Sam specified, and Gadreel nodded. “And you think I can help you? Why?”  
“It was Castiel’s idea. I turned to him, but he said matters of the heart are nothing he has enough experience with to give proper advice.”  
“I see. Have you talked to her yet?”  
“No. I wanted more… information first. I do not even know if she likes me.”  
“Well, she at least enjoys your company.” Sam pointed out.  
He had trouble believing this. Not only was he living under the same roof with the angel who had killed Kevin while walking around in his body, he was also giving him relationship advice now.  
“She does?”  
Sam nodded, and Gadreel smiled lightly.  
“So, what’s your plan?”  
“I do not yet have one. What would be a good way to go?”  
“Well…” Sam hesitated. “Find out what she likes.” He could have just told the angel, of course, but this way it would be more… educational, no matter the outcome. “Not necessarily by just asking her. Pay attention. See what makes her smile, when she looks content or comfortable. Do things she likes with her if she asks whether you would. Not only to please her. Find out if you have things in common. Whether you enjoy the same activities.”  
“That will bring me closer to her?” Gadreel asked.  
“Quite possibly. It will definitely teach you more about her as a person.” Sam confirmed. “And maybe, if she’s interested as well, she might even… make the first move.”  
“First move? Towards what?”  
“Developing a more intense relationship?” Sam suggested carefully.  
“I see.” the angel nodded.  
“Just think about it. Start slow. Don’t overdo it. Don’t be too forward. That might scare her off, ever if she is interested. Go easy, alright?”  
“I will. And Sam?”  
“Yes?” the younger brother asked, turning back towards Gadreel after already having made moves to leave.  
“Thank you. I understand it must have been… difficult to give advice to me in such a matter, or any matter at all, considering what I did to you and your brother. And your friend Kevin.  
Sam nodded curtly and left.  
Gadreel stayed in his room for the next few hours, contemplating Sam’s words.

 

~~~HER~~~

I sighed loudly from my spot in the backseat of Dean’s beloved car.  
“You okay back there?” Dean asked, sparing me a glance in the rearview mirror.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just drained.”  
“We’ll be home in few minutes, right where your bed is waiting for you.” he informed me.  
“Thank heavens for that.” I smiled.  
We were on our way back to the bunker from a hunt on the other side of the state, and I was longing for a day or two of peace and quiet. And I did kind of miss Gadreel. He still didn’t talk much to me, but over the last two weeks, he had begun to show interest in what I did during what little spare time I had.  
When he’d found me curled up in an armchair with a book, he had asked what I was reading. Two days later, I saw him reading the same book, which just so happened to be my favorite. He had also kept me company in the kitchen both past Wednesdays, which was the day I usually prepared a home-cooked meal for all of us when we were home. He’d asked me some questions about my background, and I had gone so far as to tell him about my best friend, who had killed herself after being turned by a werewolf, the reason I’d started hunting in the first place.  
I had this strange felling that he was trying to get closer to me. I wasn’t sure, though, and I didn’t want to jump to conclusions and give myself false hope. But at least we were finally making progress.  
Of course I wouldn’t mind at all if he had feelings for me. On the contrary, seeing how I was falling for him faster each day. But I would also settle for a good, solid friendship. Everybody needs friends, and neither Gadreel nor I were an exception to that rule.  
“Guys…” I slowly started.  
“No.” they said in unison.  
“But you don’t even-“  
“Oh, kiddo, we know exactly what you were going to ask. You try that after every hunt.” Dean interrupted me.  
How very rude of him.  
“Then why don’t you just suck it up and accept your fate?” I asked with a cheeky grin.  
Sam turned around halfway in his seat and looked at me with an odd expression.  
“What?” I asked. “Do I have witch-guts in my hair or something?”  
“No.” he chuckled. “But we all know how this is going to end. So let me stop you right here before it actually begins. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you want somebody to do this with, why don’t you ask Gadreel?”  
I stared at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open, and Dean was apparently so shocked that he actually swerved into oncoming traffic.  
“Dammit, Sammy! Are you nuts??? You can’t say stuff like that while I’m driving!” he called his brother out once he’d corrected the wheel and we were on our own lane again.  
“What? It was just an idea.” Sam defended himself. “It might even be useful. F/N wants company, and he’s still trying to adjust.”  
He was probably right, but that didn’t make his change in attitude towards the angel any less suspicious.  
“Since when are you BFF’s with Gadreel?” I asked, causing Sam to turn back towards me again.  
“I’m not. But if you want somebody else than your stuffed bear to be around for your little… ritual, you might want to consider the option. Because it’s not gonna be me, and I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna be Dean either.”  
Only two minutes later, Baby was parked in her usual spot in the bunker’s garage and we grabbed our bags before making our way to our respective rooms to freshen up. We had eaten on the way and were all of us ready for bed.  
On the other hand, we were all mentally a little stressed out and needed to relax before sleep was even an option. Relaxation was a little different for each of us, and I had yet to succeed in persuading either of the boys to partake in my interpretation of chilling.  
Maybe Sam was right. Maybe I should ask Gadreel. But then, it might make things a little awkward between us. Something I need not fear with Sam or Dean, since we were like family to each other.  
‘To hell with that.’ I told myself as I stepped out of the shower, where I usually did my best thinking, and began to dry my hair. I was going to ask the boys again anyway before retreating to my room. Might just as well ask him too.


	3. A Man Named Walt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little post-hunt relaxation???

~~~HIM~~~  
  
F/N came bursting into the room, wearing an odd combination of fluffy bunny slippers, flannel pajama bottoms and a tank top. Gadreel couldn’t take his eyes off her and her wide smile.  
“Last chance, guys!” she sang.  
Her words were mostly directed towards the Winchester brothers, who were both sitting at the same table as Gadreel. Dean had a beer in one hand and was occasionally chuckling about something to do with the show he was watching on his laptop, Dr. something-or-other, while Sam was staring at his tablet, looking for a new case.  
“We’ll pass.” they just mumbled.  
F/N frowned briefly before turning towards Gadreel himself.  
“What about you?”she asked with a smile.  
“Pardon? I’m not following.” he replied, confused.  
“Well, after a successful hunt, everyone of us has something we’ve gotten used to doing. Dean has a beer, Nerdy McNerd looks for a new case, and I… I crawl into bed with a cup of tea and watch the old Disney movies. Each time, I try to get them to join me, and each time, they’re being party poopers. So again, what about you?”  
“I’m not sure…” he shot an uncertain glance in Sam’s direction, who nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course. I’ll be happy to join you.”  
Really, he was. He had just been uncertain whether it would be appropriate for him to be in F/N’s bedroom.  
“Great. Come with me, then.” she said happily, her grin widening even more.  
He got up from his chair and walked over to where she was waiting. When he reached her side, she laced her arm through his, to his utter surprise, and they directed their steps towards her room. Neither of them noticed Dean’s wide-eyed stare on their backs.  
  
F/N opened the door and motioned for him to enter.  
“Would you like a tea as well?” she asked while pouring freshly boiled water into a large mug.  
“Don’t trouble yourself. But thank you.”  
She shrugged.  
“Suit yourself.”  
“May I ask why…” he trailed off.  
“Why what?”  
“Why do you not simply make your tea in the kitchen?”  
“Oh, of course, that must seem odd to you.” she gestured to the several boxes of differently flavored tea and the electric kettle on the sideboard before picking up her mug and walking to sit on the bet. “That’s a remnant of my days at college. I was living in this shared house, and my room was on the top floor with the kitchen on the ground floor. I caught a cold fairly frequently back then, and when I did, I would just lock myself up in my room for a week and drink tea after tea. I soon got tired of walking up and down the stairs every half hour or so to get hot water for a refill, so I bought a kettle for my room. I got used to it, and it stuck.”  
Gadreel nodded. While he didn’t entirely understand her reasoning, this was yet another new thing he had learned about her. F/N flipped back the sheets after setting her mug down on the bedside table, sat with her back leaning against the headboard, and patted the spot next to her.  
“Come on, sit. I promise I won’t bite.” she said, smiling.  
Gadreel sat next to her and she pulled the sheets to cover up their legs. Then she picked up her laptop from the floor beside the bed and placed it between them.  
“So, what do you want to start with?” she asked.  
“I am not familiar with the films you were referring to, I would not know.”  
“Oh, right. You want me to catch you up a little?”  
“Please.”  
“So, in the 1930’s, Walt Disney made the first evening-length animated movie. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. There’s been a whole bunch of others since, but I like the old fairy-tale ones best, so I watch them fairly often.”  
“What is it that fascinates you about them so much?” he asked, intrigued.  
F/N reached for a DVD case on her nightstand and popped the disc into her laptop. While it was loading, she turned to look at him, an uncertain expression on her face.  
  
  
~~~HER~~~  
  
“I’m not entirely sure.” I answered his question truthfully. “Probably that they remind me of my childhood. My mother used to watch them with me every now and then when I was little. We’d sit on the sofa, wrapped up in a quilt she made, her with a cup of tea and my with a hot chocolate with these tiny little marshmallows on top, and jut watch those stories unfold. Sometimes we sang along. Loud. And very off-key.” I chuckled and Gadreel smiled. “Sorry. You probably didn’t even want to know all that.”  
“I did. I like to learn new things about you. You miss her, I suppose? Your mother?”  
“Of course.” I confirmed, I lump rising in my throat that I forced back. “But let’s not talk about stuff like that now. This is supposed to be fun. So, shall we start with Snow White?”  
“As you wish.” he said with another smile, and I hit the play button.  
  
“Is this supposed to be romantic?” Gadreel asked when the nameless Prince kissed Snow White as she lay in her glass coffin.  
“Well, yeah…” I replied.  
“I don’t understand.”  
“What’s the issue, exactly?”  
“How can kissing somebody without them being awake, or as the stepmother intended, even alive, be considered an expression of romance?”  
“Hm… I think you’re being too literal here. You see, he kisses her because he loves her. Even though they only met once before, he has these feelings for her, and now he thinks he’s already lost her again. He’s devastated, and he just wants this one kiss, not only for himself, but for the both of them. It’s nothing erotic or anything like that. It’s basically a kiss goodbye.”  
“I see.”  
“Do you?”  
“I think so.”  
“Good.” I grinned.  
It was cute how he was trying to understand the inner workings of humankind, and I was very happy he did not hesitate to ask me questions like this, though sometimes, I did feel like he was hiding something. It seemed like he was at the same time trying to strengthen whatever bond we had, yet was reluctant to do so. I felt safe around him, comfortable, and that feeling caused me to reveal parts of myself to him which I’d never shown anybody. Yet, he did not reveal anything about himself of his own volition, like he was trying to hide who he truly was.  
I was zapped out of my musings when the credits started to play.  
“Oh. Would you be up for watching another one, or did the first one scare you off already?” I asked with a cheeky grin.  
“Nothing could scare me off enough to pass up on an opportunity of spending time with you.” Gadreel replied, still looking at the screen.  
When he realized what he had said, his eyes snapped towards mine for just a second before he looked away again. I picked my jaw up from the floor and swallowed audibly. Did he actually like me? Like, like like me?  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” I began, interrupting himself there.  
Well, I told myself, whatever feelings he might or might not have for me, apparently he wasn’t yet ready to fully admit them.  
“Don’t bother.” I told him in a soft voice. “I like spending time with you as well, and wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  
He slowly turned to face me again and gave me half a smile.  
I knew he still struggled with everything that had happened to him and around him. That he thought himself a monster. Possessing Sam, working for Metatron, killing Kevin, and himself. Even his original imprisonment. It all gnawed on him. He hadn’t told me any of this himself, I had accidentally overheard him speak to Cas about it. I wanted him to know I was there for him, no matter what was or wasn’t between us, but I couldn’t find the right words. The closest I got was reaching for his hand in his lap, and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He smiled again at that, and his blush returned. Then I realized I still hadn’t changed the disc, so I drew my hand back and swapped Snow White for Sleeping Beauty.  
We made it through the second and halfway through the third movie before I fell asleep around the time the Beast led a blindfolded Belle into his gigantic library, my head coming to rest on Gadreel’s shoulder.  
I woke up again when he softly brushed a few hairs back from my face.  
“I did not mean to wake you.” He said, his voice lowered to nearly a whisper.  
“That’s alright. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you either. Especially since you’re only here because I asked you to watch Disney with me.”  
“It was my pleasure. I quite enjoyed those tales.”  
“You did?” I asked, slightly surprised.  
“Yes. I find it interesting how very similar, yet also different those women, those princesses are. Physically as well as in their characters.” he elaborated.  
“Well, they all kind of reflect the times the movies were made in, respectively. Especially concerning their hair and dress. There has been a lot of discussion, particularly in recent years, about unhealthy body images in these animated movies, and how they teach kids to view their bodies as never quite good enough. All rubbish, if you ask me. Of course they tend to have unrealistically narrow waists and all that mumbo-jumbo, but if I had kid with an unhealthy view of their bodies, I would not blame it on the animated movies I let them watch. There’s way more powerful things than that. Also, when I was a kid and watched these, I never really fixated on what they looked like. Most kids don’t tend to do that. I was all about the singing, as you know.”  
We both chuckled at that. Then I noticed the time on my alarm clock changing to 2 am.  
“Wow, it’s really late. I should probably catch some more sleep.”  
“I’ll leave you to your rest, then. Would you mind if I watched some more of these films? I assume you have more than three.”  
“That I do.” I smiled.  
We both got out of my bed and I handed him the rest of my Disney collection, together with my laptop to watch them on. At the door, he turned around to face me once more.  
“Good night, F/N.”  
“Good night, Gadreel. Thanks for indulging me.”  
He opened his mouth to reply, but stopped short when I leaned up and kissed his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the little Disney princess body image rant.


	4. Squirrel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before he even realizes what's going on, Dean has - sort of - volunteered to help Gadreel in his quest for your heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the final countdown!

~~~HIM~~~  
  
Walking past door after door on the way to his room, Dean stopped dead in his tracks when he heard… unexpected sounds, muffled by the door, coming from one of the rooms he passed. He hated to admit it, but he recognized the soundtrack of ‘Tangled’ immediately. Probably due to F/N’s blasting it loudly while doing her laundry. Only it wasn’t F/N’s door he’d stopped at, but Gadreel’s. Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to knock, at which the music stopped abruptly.  
“Come in.” Gadreel called.  
Dean slowly opened the door to find the fallen angel sitting on his bed, a laptop in front of him.  
“Dean.” he greeted him with a nod.  
“That F/N’s?” the Winchester asked, indicating the laptop with a wave of his hand.  
“It is.”  
“How’d she get you to keep watching this stuff even without her around?”  
“She did not. It was my idea.”  
Dean’s eyes widened in surprise, which caused Gadreel to elaborate.  
“We spoke about why she likes these movies so much, and since I found them quite interesting as well, I asked whether she would let me watch more. She did not object.”  
Thinking of what had happened directly before his departure from F/N’s room, Gadreel blushed lightly and turned away from Dean’s questioning gaze. Dean, in turn, narrowed his eyes, not liking the suspicion forming in his mind all too much.  
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” he questioned, his tone harsher than he intended.  
Gadreel’s eyes returned to him and the angel nodded, swallowing audibly.  
“I spoke to Castiel and your brother. They gave me advice as best they could. It was Sam’s idea that I should pay close attention to F/N’s interests, participate in activities she enjoys if she offers it. He said it would help to find out if we had things in common.”  
“And you just happened to discover that you like Disney?” Dean asked doubtfully.  
“It would seem so. These stories are very intriguing.”  
“If you say so.”  
Dean turned to leave, but in spite if himself, curiosity overwhelmed him yet again, causing him to turn back around again.  
“Did it help?”  
Gadreel gave him a confused look.  
“I mean… Have you made any progress with F/N?” the elder Winchester elaborated.  
“Well…” Gadreel hesitated. “When I unintentionally told her I enjoyed spending time with her very much, she did not recoil, as I feared she would, but told me she felt the same. And when I left she… she kissed my cheek.”  
“I’ll be damned…” Dean whispered, astonished.  
“Is that a bad thing?” the angel asked, his confusion returning.  
Could he really be clueless enough about humans to misunderstand something like this so completely?  
“No. No, not at all.” Dean said, and he sighed in relief. "So what’s your plan now?”  
“I must say I do not have one.” he admitted.  
“Well… Did you do everything Cas and Sam suggested, or is there anything you haven’t tried yet?”  
“There is one thing I have not yet had the courage for.”  
“That is?”  
Dean had crossed the line from mere curiosity into actual investment. He’d probably never be able to forgive Gadreel, but if F/N was really interested in him in the romantic sense, which seemed to be the case judging by her recent behavior and the conversation he was currently having, he’d help the angel out. He could see that he was trying very hard, too, and that he could at least respect. As for F/N, Dean would give his right hand if it meant she could be happy, just like his brother.  
“They both thought I should talk to her.” Gadreel answered, ripping him out of his reverie.  
“They were right. Whatever you do will lead to nothing if you don’t tell her how you feel. F/N’s smart, but she’s not a mind reader. She might not figure it out on her own. She very well might, but you can’t rely on that.”  
“I wouldn’t know where to start.”  
“Do something for her.”  
“But Castiel said grand gestures-“  
“No, nothing too big. Just something that shows her you paid attention. That can be the smallest thing, as long as it’s genuine.”  
“And then?”  
“Then you tell her.”  
“Just like that?”  
“Just like that.” Dean reaffirmed.  
“And that will work?”  
“It just might. There’s no guarantees in stuff like that. But I honestly think she likes you. That’s more than other guys had. Should give you some courage, don’t you think?”  
  
  
~~~HER~~~  
  
“Guys?”  
“Yeah?” they replied, Dean talking to the mostly empty road ahead and Sam turning in his seat to look at me.  
“Do you have any idea what’s going on with Gadreel?” I asked.  
For the past week, since the day after we watched Disney together, he had not spoken to me the way he did before. I was worried that maybe I’d offended him somehow. Maybe that kiss on the cheek had been too much after all? Had I misinterpreted his behavior and words? Did he not have any romantic interest in me after all?  
“Not a clue.” Sam said with a frown. “Why do you ask?”  
“It’s just that… We’ve been getting along so well, and then he just… stopped. Talking to me, I mean.”  
“I’m sure you’re over-thinking it.” Dean chimed in.  
Maybe he was right. After all, Gadreel had not been actively avoiding me or anything of that sort. We just hadn’t had an easy conversation in a little while. When we were all in the library, researching, I would catch him looking at me with a frown, as if he was trying to figure something difficult out. When he noticed that I had caught him, he’d look away like nothing had happened. It was really starting to bug me.  
Something else was raising my suspicions as well. For a while now, I had this feeling, that first only Sam, and now Dean as well, were actually warming up to Gadreel. They were still far from being friendly, but… well, Sam did no longer clench his fists every time Gadreel entered a room, and Dean did no longer look like he wanted to rip their head off of everyone who dared to even mention the angel’s name. I would’ve been delighted about it, if only it wasn’t so… weird.  
And to top it all off, Gadreel had left the bunker, knowing we would be gone for about a week or two. Usually, he would either remain there, or tag along on our way to the hunt, staying in the motel rooms. It mostly depended on how trusting a mood Dean was in when we left, or on whether Cas was at the bunker to keep an eye on Gadreel. But this time, when we said we’d be gone for a while, he’d contacted Cas first thing and taken off with him the same time we did. Where they were going, neither of them would say. Just that they had business to attend to. But I was positive it couldn’t be angel business. If it was, their demeanor would’ve been different, and they probably would’ve told us. Or have hinted at it. At least that was what I told myself.  
One way or another, I was just hoping I had not offended Gadreel in some way. I would have hated to have gotten that brief glimpse of what being his friend, or perhaps more, could be like, and then lost the opportunity to fully appreciate it.  
“Hey, earth to F/N! You with us? We’re trying to hunt here!” Dean called.  
I shook my head to clear it of thoughts of Gadreel for the time being. I needed to focus. The boys needed me focused. Anything else could get a hunter killed. And I couldn’t exactly further a relationship – of whatever kind it might be – with Gadreel if I wound up dead.  
“F/N?” Sam asked after I had already missed something else.  
Right. Focus. Saving people. Hunting things.


	5. The One That Actually Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gadreel finally talks to you. Like, spilling-the-beans talks to you.

~~~HIM~~~

“F/N, you don’t have to play tough.” Gadreel heard Dean say as the bunker’s door fell shut, and he got up from his chair in the library to greet them as the descended the stairs.  
“I’m not playing anything, Dean. Certainly not the pretty girl in your company who needs your compassion because she has an Ouchie.”  
“I just know how these things hurt, even after the swelling is gone.”  
“Seriously, you’re being more of a baby about this than I ever could, which is ridiculous, considering I am the one who was thrown face first into a wall.”  
Gadreel froze upon F/N’s words, only moving again once she came into view. The entire left half of her face was a mix of green and purple, and her lip was busted open.  
“What happened?” he gasped, hurrying over to her.  
She gave him a smile. Or rather, the not-bruised side of her face did.  
“Hey, Gadreel. Good to know you’re talking to me again. To answer your question, a hunt happened. It involved direct, unexpected contact between a brick wall and my face. I blew the wall up in retaliation.”  
“That she did.” Sam confirmed, a proud note to his voice.  
“Justice needed to be served.” Now, If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go take care of business. Which means I’ll take a shower and then check if we have a bag of peas in the freezer.”  
F/N left them standing there, and Gadreel turned his confused eyes to the brothers before him.  
“What does she need frozen peas for?” he asked.  
“To cool her face. must hurt more than she admits. So… that secret plan of yours is in motion?”  
Sam’s head snapped in his brother’s direction, a question clear in his eyes.  
“Sammy, you’re not the only one talking about F/N with him.”  
“I have what I need.” Gadreel answered. I will make the last preparations now, while F/N is… otherwise occupied.”  
“Off you go, then.” Dean encouraged.  
“Dean, what’s going on?” Sam asked when they were alone.  
“He’s going to tell F/N he has the hots for her.”  
“And that plan you were talking about? What’s he going to do?”  
“I got no idea, Sammy, I got no idea.”

 

~~~HER~~~

Of course, we did not have any frozen peas. Or anything else I could have used to ease the throbbing in the left half of my face, for that matter.  
“Crap!” I murmured as I slammed the freezer shut again.  
“F/N? Are you alright?”  
I turned around to face the person who had spoken and found Gadreel, slowly crossing the kitchen to reach me.  
“Yeah, it’s just… My face does kinda hurt.” I admitted.  
Standing directly in front of me now, he raised a hand and carefully brushed the back of his fingers over my bruised flesh. The pain I’d been feeling disappeared and I raised my own hand to carefully prod at my cheek. Nothing. Not even a sting.  
“Thank you.” I breathed, keeping his hand in place on my cheek with my own.  
He smiled brightly at me.  
“It was my pleasure.”  
“Would you…” I hesitated for a moment, but then continued. “Would you like to watch Disney with me again?”  
He kept smiling, but the ‘how’ changed. Now, he looked like he knew something I didn’t, his lips only curled the slightest bit, barely visible. Like the Mona Lisa.  
“I would be happy to do that.” he said.  
I let go of his hand and he lowered it slowly.  
“Let’s go, then.”

When I entered my room with Gadreel in tow, it was slightly different from when I’d left it to take a shower. On my bed, covering my normal sheets, was a gorgeous quilt in an interesting variation of the Lone Star pattern, and on top of it sat my laptop, the melody of ‘Once Upon A Dream’ pouring out of the speakers. A steaming mug with marshmallows on top sat on my bedside table, radiating a thick scent of hot chocolate throughout the room.  
I stopped short as I took it all in, and Gadreel halted his steps behind me as well. When my surprise had lessened a bit, I faced the angel.  
“You did this?”  
He nodded nervously.  
“Why?”  
“I… I have something to tell you. But before I did, I wanted to… show you I care, I suppose.”  
“You…” I took another look at the room, putting the pieces together. “You did this because of what I told you about my mother, didn’t you?”  
He nodded again, and I fell into his arms, hiding my now healed face against his broad chest. A single tear rolled down my cheek at the memory of my mother, who had died when I was in my late teens. Gadreel wrapped his arms around me and just held me.  
“You didn’t have to do that.” I mumbled.  
“Is it too much?” he asked, worry lacing his tone.  
“No. It’s perfect.” I said, pulling back from the embrace to analyze his face. “What is it you want to tell me?”

 

~~~HIM~~~

He swallowed hard, still unsure how to phrase what he felt. Of course, he had voiced his feelings about F/N to Castiel and Sam, and to some degree even Dean, but this was different. This was her. The person it was all about. He was afraid one wrong word might ruin it all, and did not even realize how long he had been silent for.  
“Gadreel?” F/N prompted gently.  
“Yes. I…” he decided to just run with it. “You know that… that many things are still new to me. Things about humans, particularly. You’re confusing, as a species, and as individuals. But I know that… When I am around you, F/N, I almost forget everything that happened to me, everything I have done to others. I feel… happy. What I am trying to say is… I believe I love you. I am in love with you.”  
He fell silent again, casting his gaze down to the floor, not daring to look into F/N’s eyes and see disapproval and rejection in them. He did not anticipate the feeling of her hand on his cheek, the other winding around his neck and pulling him down until his lips met hers.  
It took a second for his surprise to dissolve enough to enable him to tentatively return the kiss.

 

~~~HER~~~

After a few long moments, I pulled back from the feeling of his warm lips moving tenderly against my own and smiled up at him.  
“There now, was that so hard?” I said lowly. “I was beginning to think I misunderstood your intentions. Especially when you just stopped talking to me.”  
He brushed a strand of hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear, and his breath ghosted over my cheeks as he spoke.  
“I apologize for that. I was unsure how to proceed. After my conversation with Dean-“  
“Wait a minute.” I interrupted, laying my finger across his lips. “You talked to Dean about this?”  
He nodded, and I moved my hand to his arm.  
“Anybody else?”  
“When I first became certain of my feelings for you, I turned to Castiel for advice. But I also spoke to Sam, and lastly to Dean.”  
“So everybody knows we’re in love with each other?”  
“We are?”  
“We are what?”  
“In love? With… with each other?”  
I smiled again.  
“You should give yourself some more credit. Of course I am in love with you as well.” I said before kissing him once more.

 

~~~HIM~~~

Any restraints, any reluctance he had still been subjected to melted away with that second kiss, and he let his lips move hungrily against hers. He hadn’t enjoyed anything as sweet as this since… before he’d been locked up, really.  
F/N backed away from the kiss with a sigh and led him to the bed, where he sat down, pulling her into his arms. She curled up there, occasionally lifting her head from his chest to take a sip of her hot chocolate while they watched the story of Sleeping Beauty unfold.

As the credits rolled, F/N leaned up to kiss him again. This time, it was different . This kiss, Gadreel could tell, was more than just sweet and promising. There was a fierceness in it, and a craving that felt like the one he had for her.  
“F/N…” he groaned against her lips as her fingers combed through his short hair.  
A longing moan escaped her before she pulled away again and he looked after her, confused, when she climbed off the bed and shut the laptop, placing it on top of a dresser. Then she grabbed the quilt to do the same.  
“Is something wrong?” he asked carefully.  
She turned to face him, a bright, yet mischievous smile gracing her lips.  
“No. But I have plans for you now. And I don’t want to crash my laptop while executing them. Nor would I want to ruin this.” she said, tracing a line on the quilt with her fingertip. “It’s too beautiful.”  
She set the quilt down next to her laptop and came back to him, her hips swaying as she unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, Shimmying them down her legs and leaving them behind on the floor, then crawling over his body, stopping with her knees on either side of him. His eyes were wide as he looked at her and hesitantly placed his hands on her thighs. She hummed lowly in response, bringing her lips close to his.  
“Do you want this?” she asked huskily.  
He could not find his voice, barely even had the strength to nod. After he did, she leaned in further to crash their lips together. His thumbs stroked over the skin of her thighs and her hands moved to pull the zipper of his hoodie down, proceeding to push it off his shoulders. Then she brought them to the bottom edge of his T-Shirt. His breath caught when he felt her fingertips on his skin.  
“Good.” she said, breaking the kiss. “Then help me get rid of every. Last. Bit. Of. Clothing.”  
“Whatever you desire.” he groaned, ripping first hers, then his own shirt off their bodies.

 

~~~HER~~~

I was surprised, yet delighted by his sudden investment. He had seemed reluctant at first, but now, he was definitely up for a more physical form of entertainment. I could feel the proof of his arousal plainly as I palmed over the denim of his jeans. He moaned before moving to kiss my chest, his hands unclasping my bra and, as it fell from my body, cupping my breasts, kneading, thumbs rubbing over my nipples. Pleasure shot through my whole body at his every touch.  
I’d been wanting him this whole time, but had waited because I didn’t want to push him, not knowing he would be so cooperative. I squealed when he suddenly moved me to lie back on the bed and hovered above me himself. My hands tangled into his hair and my back arched as he kissed down across my stomach until he reached the edge of my panties. He looked up at me, a question in his eyes. I nodded, and he dragged the lace down my legs, torturously slow, before standing and removing his own jeans and boxers. Admiring him, I bit my lip as he joined me again, before pulling him into a heated kiss while my hands wandered all across his back. He held himself up above me while we kissed, his hips slowly inching forward as he sank into me.  
A second or two was all I needed to adjust before I rolled my own hips against him, prompting him to move. The sensations washing over me with every stroke where overwhelming, so much so that I did not realize until later that night how I told him I loved him, using those big three words, several times.  
Feeling every inch of him within me while his movements sped up gradually caused the well-known coil to tighten in my gut, bit by bit. His lips parted from another kiss to trail down my neck, teeth grazing skin, nibbling, sucking, leaving marks I was sure the boys’ eyes would not be able to miss in the morning. Every now and then, my name would fall from his lips in a moan, or a sigh, or a pant, as his did from mine.  
As he hit that one spot within me with every thrust, his stroked still increasing in frequency, my nails raking down his back, everything he made me feel converged in my center and the coil snapped, just seconds before Gadreel’s climax overtook him as well. One last shuddering thrust into me, and he froze, spilling his heat there as wave after wave of pure delight washed over the both of us.

He stayed with me all night, and would continue to do so every night from then on. Lying there, stretched out on my bed, holding me close to him, with my head resting on his chest, he seemed to be completely at peace.  
“I love you too.” he whispered suddenly, kissing the top of my head.  
“You caught that.”  
My reply was not a question, and he knew, so he did not bother with any more words for a while. Not until I spoke again.  
“Gadreel?”  
“Yes?”  
“I’ve been wondering… Where did you get that gorgeous quilt?” I asked, tracing patterns on his stomach with my fingertips while he did the same on my back.  
“Lancaster, Pennsylvania.”  
My head shot up and I shifted to look at him.  
“You went to Pennsylvania to get a quilt for me???”  
He instantly looked worried.  
“I did… was that excessive?”  
I smiled and pecked his lips.  
“No. Well, maybe a little. You didn’t have to.”  
“I know. But… I think it was worth it.” he said, his smile mirroring mine.  
“Yes, I suppose it was.”  
I didn’t refer to the quilt this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it.  
> I hope the request was fulfilled to the requesting party's (and everybody else's) satisfaction.
> 
> Leave a comment if it was. And if it wasn't as well, so I can do better next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment. You know how instant gratification works. (Constructive criticism is much appreciated, too, though.)
> 
> Any requests? Give me a heads up, I'll look into it. No promises made.  
> Just shoot me an ask on my tumblr: http://catsoftheapocalypse.tumblr.com/  
> Or use the comments here.  
> Up to you.


End file.
